Challenging Unthinking Ideas: The Case of Alice
Alice is comforting herself with food. During the day, she's busy making sales calls (sometimes missing lunch), writing papers, preparing dinner, helping her children with their homework, and putting them to bed. Her schedule is hectic; she's usually surrounded by people during the day, caring for clients and her son and daughter. At night, after the children are asleep, she's alone, with no one to look after her. Eating is her way of replenishing the energy depleted by the day's stress, and it's the only comforting thing she can do for herself. Because there's no one else to help her.
I asked her to describe her thoughts before and during her evening meal. She said:
When I finally put the kids to bed, I thought, "Finally, I can do what I want." I grabbed some snacks and turned on the TV. Immediately, I thought about the argument I'd had with my daughter, Jenny. Then came guilt for getting angry when I found out she'd lied and said she'd finished her homework. Once I started feeling down, I began thinking about other mistakes I'd made. The thing that kept coming to mind was my flirtatious relationship with Jim, the married man I'd been involved with, and how it all ended so badly. Even after I'd finished my snacks, I'd still crave something else, and so I'd head back to the kitchen.
I asked Alice what else she could do besides eat to relax and treat herself, whether it was night or day. She told me about her busy schedule and all the reasons why she had no time to take care of herself.
To help her overcome this negative mood and the resulting eating habit, I asked her some questions to help her recognize the irrational, unthinking thoughts that were causing her bad mood and eating. Applying Dr. Burns' ten forms of distorted thinking, Alice recognized her irrational thoughts, and through some discussion, identified some of the distortions, establishing a more rational way of thinking.
Alice's thought without thinking: I don't take care of my own time.
Twist point: The statement should be: "I should be productive at all times."
The rational thought: "I am productive, and I am entitled to take care of myself for a few minutes."
Alice's immediate thought: I'm a bad mother because I lost my temper with my daughter again.
Distortion points: Labeling: "Bad mother"; All-or-nothing thinking: "Never lose your temper."
My rational thought: "My daughter Jenny is having a particularly difficult time right now, but I can usually handle her bad temper."
Alice's thought without hesitation: I want an intimate relationship, but I will choose another man to marry.
Twist point: Drawing hasty conclusions: fortune-telling methods
The rational thought: "Time has passed, I won't make the same mistake again."
Alice's thought without a second thought: I'd better finish the rest of the noodles, since I'm going to gain weight anyway.
The twist: All-or-nothing thinking, jumping to conclusions.
The rational thought: "If I don't eat these noodles, I'll still gain weight, but at least there will be some benefits."
Do any of these distorted thoughts sound familiar? To help you become aware of your unthinking thoughts, look at your answers to question five in your emotional eating summary (i.e., the emotions or thoughts that most easily trigger eating). Now, create three columns. In the first column, write down the unthinking thoughts that most easily relate to your emotional eating, referring to column four, "Psychological Manifestations," in Table 4.1 to identify your unthinking thoughts. Next, referring to the supplementary section "Distorted Thoughts," note the type of distortion represented by the unthinking thoughts and write it in the second column. Finally, replace the unthinking thought with a more rational one and write it in the third column.
After you identify irrational, thoughtless thoughts and replace them with rational ones, whenever an irrational, thoughtless thought suddenly enters your mind, identify its distorted type and try to remind yourself to remember the rational thought to replace it. This new rational thought needs several repetitions to become irrational. If you know when you are most likely to have irrational thoughts, you can prepare in advance, which helps speed up the process.
Review your answers to questions 1, 2, and 3 in your emotional eating summary so you can be prepared for these times and situations. For example, knowing that you might have irrational thoughts after arguing with your spouse and use food to soothe your emotions, you can replace them with more rational thoughts and avoid impulsive eating.
When an unthinking thought arises, it's beneficial to argue with yourself aloud when you're alone. Because no one is around, you don't have to feel foolish for talking to yourself. The purpose is simply to remind yourself why unthinking thoughts are distorted and to proclaim more rational ideas. If your unthinking thought occurs in a particular place (see question 2 in your emotional eating summary), you can make a sign or post a "poster" (with a note attached) to remind yourself of the rational thought.
The basic idea is to repeat rational thoughts as frequently as possible until they become second nature. You'll find that as new, more rational thoughts take over, negative emotions decrease, and consequently, the urge to snack decreases.